Day 5

Dear you shld know what happened to me today.. cos i've sent u a mail..

You know what dear...

I always tell u I feel tat i am not important in you life.. And you always say I do? I mean a lot to you? Well.. all i have to say is.. prove it! Don't just say it to me, show me i am important to you, show me i meant a lot to you! Dun just say it, show me ur actions!

Although you just went Australia less than a week... you go back and see those emails you gave me.. although i already told you my life and such...oh.. my fault, mayb i shldn't have tell you my life... cos i wanna know whether you will be concern bout me.. you never seem to ask me how's my day and stuff... you don't care how i doing here and u assume everything's fine...

I understand tat you can't call me.. (although when my frens ask bout u and i said you went Aus for 3 weeks and i can't talk n see you, they are like:"what is it so hard just to make a call?") And you know everynight i was so excited and rush to check my mail just wanna hear a BIT of things from you... everytime i was so disappointed... you wrote things so short as if you are writing a sms...

Dear, i din mean to write all these things just to pick a fight with you.. I just wanna u to understand.. cos you don't seem to be understanding and always ignore what i said and think i am being unreasonable again! I've said this again and again to you... I just hope you can understand how I feel... n i want you to know how suffering i am without you... :(

You know i am very dependant on you.. you know i need lots of love and attention... But everything you gave me (when u not around) was so less that it actually makes me feel so depressed and lonely! I need you!! I need to feel as if you are around me and always by my side eventhough you can't be!

I may sound very unreasonable now.. cos i had a really bad day.... I cried so much today and i wasn't very happy... But if you think other way round... You shld feel glad that I sent all these things to you, keep asking u to contact me and stuff... rather than i totally ignore you (since you din gimme much attention also) as if i feel much happier without you...

At least i care... That's y i said missing you is the most tiring thing... cos you don't respond much... or maybe you miss me too but just cant get to contact me...

I dunno... i just know i am tired...

I love you dear... I love you so so much.... How i wish i can hugzz you so tightly now... :(
N i miss you so much so much......................................................